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This is Doreen Green, a fourteen-year-old character who featured in a few Marvel issues in 1992.

For obvious reasons, she goes by the handle “Squirrel Girl.”

Let me tell you a little about Miss Green.

In her first appearance, she attempts to befriend Iron Man and become his new sidekick. However, because Tony Stark is not in the habit of hanging out with girls who look kind of like rodents, he turns her down. Shortly thereafter, Stark was captured by Doctor Doom… who was then handily defeated by Squirrel Girl.

Squirrel Girl’s hit list so far is:

  • Doctor Doom (Genius dictator known for defeating the Silver Surfer and stealing the power cosmic)
  • Mandarin (Master hand-to-hand fighter possessing ten magic rings giving him powers ranging from blasts of ice to completely rearranging matter.)
  • Giganto (Giant walking whales known for defeating the Fantastic Four and the Avengers.)
  • MODOK (Ridiculously intelligent mutagenic with advanced psionic powers.)
  • Thanos (Titanian Eternal with superhuman strength, speed, intellect, near-indestructable skin, and psionic blasts.)
  • Terrax (The next herald of Galactus, who has control over the classical elements.)
  • Bug-Eyed Voice (Street level criminal, beaten senseless by Green after messing with the guy she was crushing on.)
  • Bi-Beast (Giant android possessing enhanced strength, endurance, durability, and intelligence.) 
  • Deadpool (Fricking DEADPOOL.)
  • Pluto (The Olympian god of the bloody underworld.)
  • Fin Fang Foom (Known as “He whose limbs shatter mountains and whose back scrapes the sun.”)
  • Baron Mordo (Powerful magician, skilled hypnotist, and summoner of demons.)
  • Korvac (Wielder of the power cosmic)
  • Ego the Living Planet (A. LIVING. PLANET.)
  • Wolverine (You know who Wolverine is. You freaking know who Wolverine is.)

Marvel Comics’ official database uses a system they call the “powergrid” to measure the abilites of their characters.

The grid measures six characteristics (intelligence, strength, speed, durability, energy projection, and fighting skills) on a scale of one through seven.

Squirrel Girl got straight sevens. 

According to the Marvel Wiki, this means she:

  • …is near-omniscient.
  • …can lift upwards of 100 tons.
  • …can transcend light speed.
  • …cannot be harmed or destroyed.
  • …has unlimited command of all energy forms.
  • …is a master of every combat style.
She is fourteen years old, and has already trumped the efforts of worked alongside Iron Man and S.H.I.E.L.D.
Also, she can speak squirrel.
That is all.

I don’t know if that defeat of wolverine is the recent one during fear itself or not

but she kicked his arse

Please continue to be perfection please Squirrel Girl.

just in case any of my non-comic book fan followers needed another reason to get into comics

((Ohshit guys, Mary Sues are taking over the world. :’D  ))

(Source: metricaprovince)

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